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Mid-Life Dating: What to Look For and What to Flee From

midlife-dating-adviceThe man of my dreams might walk round the corner tomorrow. I’m older and wiser, and I think I’d make a great girlfriend. I live in the realm of romantic possibilities.
~Stevie Nicks

Truth-be-told, dating at any age can be quite taxing; however dating when you are 40 years old or older can be downright daunting. Why? Well, because thousands, if not millions of people are looking for their “perfect” match, which means that mid-life dating can turn into a revolving door of incompatible unions, one-night stands, and broken relationships. Thankfully, it does not have to be that way. You can find the perfect person for you, regardless of your age. In other words, there is someone out there waiting for you!

You just have to be cautious when letting a potential partner into your life – but isn’t that true for anyone, who is open to love? If you are ready to open your heart and devote your time to a healthy, happy relationship, you have come to the right place. Why? Well, because this article will guide you through the sometimes turbulent water of mid-life dating. Don’t worry, you will do just fine. With these instructions, you will find the soul mate you have longed for all of your life.

So, now that you are ready to fully devote yourself to finding love, what comes next? Well listed below are some helpful suggestions on what to look for and what to flee from, when engaging in mid-life dating. Are you ready?!

Join Online Dating Sites
I know, I know, joining online dating sites can be tricky, and somewhat embarrassing, but it may just be your ticket to finding someone to spend those frosty nights or sunny days with. Why should you try online dating? Well, because it is a great place to start the dating process, if you are a little on the “shy” side, or if you feel uneasy about meeting people at outings, clubs, bars, and/or restaurants. Thankfully, there are a variety of secure dating sites that can help you meet the woman or man of your dreams.

How do they do that? Well, by matching your interests (i.e. body type, race, religion, sexual preference, age, beliefs, hobbies, location, occupations, incomes, etc.) with others who share the same or similar interests. So, what are some secure online dating sites that can help you “test the waters?” I would recommend sites like: Eharmony.com, Match.com, Tinder.com, Plenty of Fish.com, ChristianMingle.com, Bi-Cupid.com, Chemistry.com, BlackPeopleMeet.com, etc. Sign up on one or more of these dating sites and add an attractive picture, and your dating life with take off like a rocket!

Look Outside of Your Comfort Zone

What is the easiest thing to do when you are trying to mid-life date? Hmm…well, it is to keep picking the same types of partners and going to the same types of places. Why do you do that? Well, because it is easy and comfortable. But, if you think about it, “easy” and “comfortable” hasn’t really worked for you in the past, so what not try something “challenging” and “new.” In other words, take a chance and look for something different. Don’t just focus on how “hot” a person is, or how much money he or she makes, rather look for someone, who can offer you the emotional things you need at this point in your life. Do you value stability and security? Do you want a partner, who can make you laugh, and wipe away the tears when you cry? Or, do you want someone, who is giving and understanding, even when you push him or her to the limits?

It is ok to want your partner to look nice and have a steady job, but basing your dating preferences around these superficial characteristics will only lead to disaster…and a broken heart. So, instead of going to your usual places to meet people (i.e. the local coffee shop, the gym, restaurants, church, bars, and/or clubs) change it up a little and try something new. Try finding love at bookstore, bowling alley, a friend’s barbeque, concerts, museums, a second job, wine-tasting classes, dog parks, speed dating events, cooking classes, dance lessons, spas, beaches, planes/trains, sporting events, charity events, the grocery/department store, the park, a wedding, a class reunion, or a work-sponsored event. Be creative – you’d be surprise where you will find love. But, do not, I repeat, do not try to find love at a funeral. Why? Well, because that’s just tacky.

Rekindle an Old Flame
What?! Yes, the best place to look for love is – in the past. I know that sounds crazy, but it is true. Is there a high school or college crush that you lost contact with when you graduated from high school or college? Do you have a special place in your heart for an “old flame” that got away? Or, do you have a childhood BFF (best friend forever) of the opposite or same sex that you neglected to notice (on that level) at the time? If you answered “Yes” to any of the above questions, you may be ready to take a dive into the past. Who knows, maybe you have already met your soul mate. And, yes, it is late, but better late than never, right? So, contact some of your olds friends that you haven’t seen or talked to in a long time, and make a date to “catch up.” Or, attend your next high school reunion or college homecoming. Why? Because it is a great place to rekindle an old flame.

Ask a Friend for Recommendations

I know what you are thinking…How embarrassing. But, really it’s not so embarrassing, especially if it helps you find love in all of the right places. I’m sure you have a couple of close friends, whose opinions and recommendations you trust, so why not ask one or two of them for help with your mid-life dating dilemma. No, your friends will not laugh at you or think you are a loser – they love you, and if they make fun of you, well, then maybe they aren’t your friends, after all. If they are your “true” friends they will jump at the chance to help you find true love. In fact, before you can even get the question out, they will already have a couple or potential partners lined up in their minds. A benefit of having a friend or two recommend a potential partner is that they know both you and the other person, so they have a pretty good idea, if you will be compatible. So, trust your friends, and give the person they recommend a try.

Go on a Singles Vacation
One of the best ways to meet other mid-life individuals, looking for the same things you are, is to go on a singles vacation. Why is this type of vacation a good way to meet others, who are trying to mid-life date? Well, because there are hundreds or thousands of people in the same area with similar interests. Truthfully, people go on these vacations with the sole purpose of meeting other singles in their age group, so don’t be timid, and get out there and meet the person of your dreams.

So, go on a singles cruise, travel with groups of available single people, or stay at singles resorts. And, if attending these vacations alone makes you uneasy, ask another single friend to go with you. However, if you decide to go with another single friend, make sure you both mingle – separately. You don’t want to go on a singles vacation just to spend time with each other. Why? Well, because it defeats the purpose! You are there to meet the love of your life, not strengthen your relationship with your BFF.

Tips & Considerations
The most important thing to remember when trying to mid-life date is to keep an open mind and heart. In other words, don’t be negative or pessimistic when it comes to finding love. Rather, try to be as optimistic and positive as your possible can. Why? Well, because it’s attractive to others. And, lastly, you must like yourself, before anyone else will like you. So, are you ready to get started?! Yes, well, let’s go!!!!!

References:

Brainy Quote. (2015). Dating quotes. Retrieved from http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_dating2.html
Dr. Jenn. (2015). For singles – 100 places to meet people. Retrieved from http://www.doctorjenn.com/dev/main.php?p=resources&sp=singles
Jagger, E. & Anderson, J. (2015). The new sexual revolution begins At 50. Huffington Post. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/erica-jagger/sexual-revolution-at-50_b_7271436.html
Waxman, B. (2015). Dating at midlife: What you need to know. eHarmony.com. Retrieved from http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/dating/dating-at-midlife-what-you-need-to-know/#.ViAnavlViko

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