How to Have the BEST Sex in Your Committed Relationship
Sarah Jio, a journalist from Woman Day magazine reports that 48% of Americans (male and female) are highly satisfied with their sex life.
Being in a committed relationship definitely has its perks, but, unfortunately it also has some disadvantages too. And, while it’s great to be a part of a long-lasting fulling relationship – one in which you share a passionate emotional and physical intimacy that includes urinating, passing gas, walking around naked, and belching in front of each other, this type of “openness” can also cause both people to become a little “too relaxed,” if you catch my drift. The consequence of being “too relaxed” in the relationship is that it is easier to fall into a comfortable routine – even in the bedroom. And, while comfortable routines aren’t always a “bad” thing, they can cause a relationship to become stale, especially when it comes to physical intimacy. What do I mean? Well, if your relationship becomes “too relaxed,” you and your partner may end up having obligatory “vanilla” sex once or twice a week – always in the missionary position – never trying anything new or “risqué.” Oh, and this obligatory sex may always occur before bed – an hour or two to be exact – right before you roll over and go to sleep. Fun.
Truth-be-told, keeping the “sizzle” in your relationship isn’t always easy, to say the least, and let’s be real there are probably times, no matter how much you adore your sexy partner and love-love-love having sex with him or her, that you’d rather be watching football, a Netflix movie or sitcom, reading, eating pizza in bed, playing sports, sleeping, shopping, and/or talking with friends on the phone, which by-the-way is totally NORMAL. However, let’s also be real that physical intimacy is an important aspect of being in a healthy committed relationship. Understandably, sometimes life throws you curve balls and sex simply isn’t “doable” (no pun intended), and that is totally FINE too. Thankfully, there are other ways to be physically intimate without having sex intercourse (i.e. spooning, cuddling, kissing, canoodling, making out, and/or oral sex), so don’t worry if sexual intercourse just isn’t in your cards.
Physical intimacy, on a regular basis, in whatever form it takes for you, is good for both your mental health and well-being (i.e. it improves your mood, boosts your self-esteem, increases your energy level, causes feelings of connectedness, and strengthens your cognitive functions) and your physical health (i.e. lowers high blood pressure, promotes sleep, relieves both acute and chronic pain, improves immune system functions, boosts libido, reduces prostate cancer and heart attack risks, aids in exercise efforts, and eases stress (Weaver, 2016; Smith, 2016). So… if you are in a committed relationship and things start to feel a little dull, or if you just want to “spice” up your sexual romps, then you are definitely in the right place. This article will provide you with some titillating tips on how to rekindle the fire in the bedroom. Don’t worry my tips are a lot of fun, so are you ready to get started? Great! Let’s go!!!!
Fun, easy tips that will help you have the BEST sex in your committed relationship:
Surprise Your Partner
When was the last time you surprised your partner? Tell the truth! A long time ago, right? I bet you can’t even remember when, can you? Well, that’s ok, but it is definitely time for a change. Truth-be told, even those, who shun surprises, enjoy surprises when it comes to S-E-X. So, “spice” up your relationship by greeting your partner with a sexual surprise when he or she gets home from a long day at work. What should I do? Well, you could start by slowly removing your partner’s clothes as he or she walks to your bedroom, whispering sexy things to him or her to set the mood (i.e. a sexy grin and a naked or scantily clothed body standing in front of him or her work wonders in the “spice” department). And, guess what? Sexual surprises are guaranteed to lift you and/or your partner’s moods and make you both forget about work-related conflicts and issues. It doesn’t matter how often you surprise your loved one with something sex-related. Remember: Surprises don’t always have to occur on holidays or special occasions – they can occur whenever you want them to!!
Flirt Like Your Life Depends on It
If you want to have the BEST. SEX. EVER, you will need to flirt with your partner like your life depends on it! Unfortunately, many people believe that flirting is cheesy or overrated, when in reality it is one of the best ways to set the mood and get those juices flowing. It’s also a great way to show your loved one that you find him or her sexy and desirable. Plus, you have to admit that flirting is a lot of fun. It’s playful and easy, which is perfect after a stressful and/or busy day. So, randomly wink at your partner when you are riding in the car, eating dinner at home or at restaurant, at a formal event, when you think no one is watching or when you know everyone is watching, and/or when you are sitting side-by-side in the movie theater. Don’t forget to tell your partner (often) how sexy, “hot,” and smart you find him or her – inside and outside the bedroom!
Add Morning Romps into Your Sexual Escapades
Have you ever had sex in the mornings? Well, if you haven’t I suggest you try it, if you want to have the BEST sex in your committed relationship. Why the mornings? Well, in the mornings, when you are just waking up and your hair is all messy, your stress level is down, and your partner is lying right beside you (easy access), the scene is set for a “spicy” morning sex romp before work. I guarantee you and your partner will be more relaxed once you arrive at work or start doing errands/or chores. Plus, you will be better able to handle any issues or conflicts that come your way after a morning sex romp. Why? Well, you will be calmer and probably sporting a silly grin all day long. Really though, a morning sex romp is a GREAT way to start your day!
Explore Your Fantasies
Exploring your fantasies can be quite fun, if both of you are onboard. In fact, once you have been a committed relationship for a long time and feel comfortable with your partner, it is easier to “open up” and try new things. It is during this time that you will probably experience the BEST sex in your committed relationship! Are there sexual positions that you have been dying to try? If so, try them (as long as your partner agrees, of course). Good communication is essential in any committed relationship, but it is especially imperative in the bedroom and when exploring your fantasies together. What are your desires? What turns you both on? Take turns exploring each other’s sexual fantasies, but DO NOT pressure your partner into doing something he or she does not feel comfortable doing, simply to satisfy your own desires. So, try a little roleplaying, if that floats your boat (i.e. officer and citizen, sexy maid and billionaire, Superman and Wonder Woman, etc.) or try porn re-enactments, BDSM, or other sexual fetishes, if that is what you and your partner find pleasurable. Only you and your partner can determine what fantasies you want to explore. The key to this activity is keeping an open mind.
Try a New Position Every Month
Are you a couple that likes to try new things – toys, positions, sexual activities? Yes? No? Well, either way, if you really want to have the BEST sex in your committed relationship, you may want to try a new sexual position every month. What?! Yes, have you ever heard of Kama Sutra? Yes? No? Well, Kama Sutra is manual that lists many incredible sexual positions – which, by-the-way are meant to be connection points that are both romantic, fun, and challenging (Dutta, 2015). In fact, the main goal of this manual is to teach you and your partner how to become supremely intimate with one another. Beware – You probably won’t master all of the sexual positions listed in this manual…unless you really are Superman and Wonder Woman (most of us can’t twist our bodies in unusual angles or stand on our head while we make passionate love), however trying a few of them may be fun and exciting for both of you! So, pick a night or two out of each month to try a new position. You never know – you may find a couple of positions that help you achieve the BEST.SEX. EVER!
You probably already know this, but in order to have the BEST sex in your committed relationship, you are going to have to communicate – clearly and matter-of-factly. Sex is not going to be GREAT or even GOOD, if you can’t or won’t tell your partner what you like and dislike – what feels good and what doesn’t. You are the guide when it comes to your body. Moreover, if one person does not have a satisfying experience, even though the other one does, the sex will be a bust. So, talk to each other – don’t be shy – so that you both have the BEST sex possible.
Truthfully, foreplay doesn’t get the recognition it deserves, in my opinion. Honestly, foreplay is MIND-BLOWING! And, the longer you keep it going – the better, trust me! While quick sex is sometimes fun, exciting, and easy (especially when you have limited time), spending lots of time prepping for the be event is really steamy, getting both of you in the mood for some serious action. In fact, many men and women have commented that the longer they extend foreplay activities, the more enhanced the actual sex act is. Ultimately, foreplay causes some SERIOUS orgasmic activities!
Dutta, N. (2015). 8 Kamasutra sex positions you have to try! (with images). The Health Site. Retrieved from http://www.thehealthsite.com/sexual-health/kamasutra-sex-positions-to-bust-boredom-in-the-bedroom-gallery/
Smith, M. W. (2013). 10 surprising health benefits of sex. WebMD. Retrieved from http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/sex-and-health
Weaver, R. (2016). The mental health benefits of sex. EmpowHER. Retrieved from http://www.empowher.com/mental-health/content/mental-health-benefits-sex