Each one of us has a unique expression; we all can express ourselves in smaller ways and yet be just as beautiful.
Don’t believe me- find out for yourself, your own experience is your best teacher.
• Explore how you stop yourself (ie. Negative stories)
• Give yourself permission to find out
• Be curious, you don’t have to know in order to explore
Process is organic- outcome may not be what you expected.
• Find supportive people
• Empty-handed leap into the unknown
• Being scared is a normal part of the process
• If you fall down, it isn’t failure
Relationship advice by Sevin Philips, MFT
Hello, this is Sevin Philips and this is part 2 of living your life to its fullest expression.
One of the things I want to talk about is a characteristic when it comes to human expression. We’re all unique. Each one of us incredibly so. For instance, some people are Eiffel Towers. They’re the ones that are big and everyone sees it equally as beautiful. Some of us are a lot more like flowers. Our truest expression might be like you’re walking on a path and you see this amazing flower. Breathtaking. Maybe only two people in the flower’s lifetime will see how incredible this flower is, but it doesn’t mean it’s any less beautiful than anything else.
So if you’re like most of us, which you compare yourself to others, which is another way we keep ourselves down, you really need to pay attention to how beautiful things are as they are, not comparing to anything else. You have a unique expression and it’s going to come out the way it’s going to come out.
Another thing is this whole belief that I’m telling you that you can do amazing things in your life is I want to say that I don’t want you to believe me. I don’t want you to inherently believe me on faith. I’m pointing in a direction, but what I really want is for you to go find out for yourself by being curious in your life. The greatest teacher for any of us is our own experience. Someone can share something with you that moves you, but it’s really your own experience of it yourself that actually changes you, so I invite you to be the investigator. I invite you to find out.
Some of the steps to move towards getting out of being stuck and becoming whatever it is that you are going to become in your life, the first one is really paying attention to how you stop yourself.
These could be some of the things that I spoke about in my first video. Some examples could be “I can’t do that; someone else can. They’re more outgoing; I’m not outgoing.” Whatever the story is that you have about yourself – “I’m just not good at that.” Whatever the rolling tape is, I need you to pay attention to what that is, because before you can figure out what you want and how to move forward, you really have to see how you stop yourself first. These stories can be based on financial fears, which is a big one for many people. Whatever it may be, just listen to the stories that you have in your life.
The second thing is that ultimately you need to give yourself permission to find out what it is that you dare to dream about, to find out if it’s true if you can be something more than you currently are.
At some point, whether you believe it or not yet, it’s okay. You don’t have to believe it. Just give yourself permission to find out, which leads me to my third next stage. Be curious. Many of us, we get into this. We go, “I don’t know what I want to do.” We sit there in our heads and we get lost in this world. “I don’t know what I want to do,” as if we have to know before we can do anything about it, which is very logical, but it doesn’t work like that. It’s a very organic process.
What I’m inviting you to do is to be curious. That’s the third step. If you have inklings that you might want to be involved in a museum, maybe a museum curator, go to a bunch of museums in the city. Call a curator and ask them out for lunch. Pay for the lunch and interview them. Find out what their job is like. Without having to know what you want to do, just explore.
Kind of like when you were a kid, you would go out and explore things, figuring out what it is you want to do. Having that license is a great way to start, so you don’t have to know anything.
I’ll end with my story of when I was in a place in my life where I took that empty-handedly. I man named George Bertelstein was there with me at the time – a great support to me. It’s an amazing thing to have people who support you to do this.
I was just terrified. I had been thinking about making a change in my life. I just had these stories that I couldn’t do it or I was afraid that I’d be poor and I wouldn’t have my needs met and all these different things. They’re just fears.
This man helped me, gave me permission – which I gave myself permission – to jump.
I’m putting this out there for all of you. First of all, the empty-handed leap is not knowing what’s going to happen. Second, landing on the ground or not making it the way that you thought you would doesn’t mean failure. It’s just part of the process. And being scared is part of the process, too, so don’t let that stop you.
I’m hoping this is going to be of help to you, that you’re willing to go out there and try something new, to explore and not give up hope – the fact that, in your life, no matter what your situation is or what you think about yourself, that it is possible to do something more incredibly unique and the biggest person you could be in your life.
By Sevin Philips, MFT