You are frustrated, angry, confused and heartbroken, so when should you throw in the towel in a relationship? You don’t want to “give up” on something that could be the “perfect” relationship, but you also don’t want to stay in a dead-end coupling that is on a one way track to nowhere. So, what do you do? How do you know when it’s really over? Well, many times people have a gut feeling or intuition when the relationship is over, but refuse to acknowledge it. It is easier to ignore the signs or push aside doubts, in order to keep living in a fantasy world. It is hard to go from being in a relationship, regardless of how “bad” it is, than to go back to being single. The problem is that it destroys your self-esteem, and prevents you from finding the right person for you.
Some common signs that your relationship is going downhill is: your partner starts acting “differently” towards you, and he or she no longer says “I love you” in the mornings when you wake up and before you go to bed. In addition, your partner no longer seems interested in spending time with you. These are red flags that you should pay close attention to. If your partner no longer seems invested in you and the relationship, it is probably time to throw the towel in, and move on. Do not stay in an unhealthy or unfulfilling relationship, simply because you don’t want to be alone. You will not always be alone, eventually, when the time is right, you will meet the special person you are meant to be with. Be patient – true love is around the corner. If you feel that your relationship is spiraling down a dark tunnel, it may be time for you to “let it go.”
Listed below are signs that it is time to throw in the towel in your relationship:
How are your conversations? Do you talk a lot? Do you seem interested in what is happening in each other’s lives? If your partner no longer seems interested in you or what is happening in your life, and/or he or she does not make time to talk with you on a daily basis, it is probably time to muster up the courage to say “good bye” to the relationship. One way to determine if it is time to move on is to think back to when you and your partner had long, thoughtful conversations with each other. Think of the time when you used to look forward to talking to your partner – when you used to laugh together. If those experiences have stopped, then your partner may have lost “that loving feeling.” If so, it may be time to seek happiness and joy from someone else.
• Quality Time Together
Do you still spend time together? Or, are you like ships passing in the night? Do you have a good time when you are together? Or, do you constantly argue and belittle one another? Do you try to spend the least amount of time together as possible? If so, your relationship may be on its last leg. It is important to spend quality time together, if you want a happy relationship. Couples that go out on dates, spend time talking and cooking together, etc., have happier and more satisfying relationships. It is important not to let outside stressors (i.e. work demands, and parenting/household responsibilities) affect your relationship. If you forgo spending quality time with one another, your relationship is doomed. If your partner no longer appears to want to spend time with you, it may be time to throw in the towel and look for someone who does! There is nothing worse than feeling unwanted by a partner – you deserve better.
Are you intimate with one another? Intimacy includes more than just sex. Do you kiss and hug one another? Do you share secrets with one another? Are you having sex with one another? If not, then your relationship may be heading towards a brick wall. Physical, emotional and sexual intimacy is an important element of any relationship. Without these elements, your relationship will not survive. If your partner no longer wants to touch you, then it may be time for you to move on with someone who wants to intimately express his or her feelings for you. You deserve to feel wanted, loved, appreciated and desired. And, if you are not receiving those feelings from your partner, he or she may have emotionally exited the relationship. Do yourself a favor and do the same!
What is your partner’s attitude like? Is he or she hostile, distant, mean, bored and/or annoyed? If so, leave the relationship immediately! Why? Well, because those attitudes seem a lot like verbal and emotional abuse, and you do not deserve to be treated like that. It can be quite depressing to be with someone, who always has a “bad” attitude around you. This partner is trying to tell you that he or she is unhappy and most likely wants out of the relationship. Do not be surprised if your partner picks at your flaws, criticizes you at every turn, calls you degrading names, and belittles you on a daily basis. He or she is finished with you emotionally. In fact, your partner is probably hoping that you will throw in the towel and break up with him or her. If your partner is not willing to change or work on your relationship – take heed and move on.
Does your partner respect you? Does he or she constantly belittle and/or criticize you? Does he or she try to embarrass you in front of others? If so, this is an unhealthy relationship, and you need to exit it as soon as possible. Partners must have respect for one another, if their relationship is to survive. Respect involves setting healthy boundaries and understanding what you both need from one another. If you do not have respect in the relationship, it will fail.
Dr. R. Y. Langham
Naik, A. (2014). 5 signs you’re in a dead-end relationship. Net Doctor. Retrieved from http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/healthyliving/fivesigns.htm
Padykula, J. (2011). Signs of love gone wrong. She Knows. Retrieved from http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/827011/signs-your-relationship-wont-last-much-longer